Saturday, March 16, 2013


So, the Doc and my beloved nurse assured me I could shower.  Jason insisted we do it last night.  Me, yeah I could have waited another week.  Whatever?!  Right?  I have baby wipes, I'm doing NOTHING and I can take a spit bath.  WRONG.  I gave in.  I let my husband convince me to undress and stand/hunch and remove my girdle.  THAT act alone was a moment for panic.  I THOUGHT FOR SURE  something was going to fall out, fall apart, break...something.  So I'm leaning naked against my walker as he is figuring out how to un-hook and un-zip the girdle on the side.  I hobble hunched over to the shower, take a tenuous step up and collapse onto the shower seat.  Being honest I was in tears and wrought with fear.  I didn't know what it was going to feel like and I was terrified to look at myself!  I sat there long enough for the water to run over me and for me to rub a soapy cloth over me.  (I do have to work on getting the tape residue off that I am allergic to... However last night was not that night).  I had Jason taking pictures throughout because I knew some day I would want to see them.  He kept saying "Oh this is COOL!" and "You look like Jack the Pumpkin King from the Nightmare before Christmas", which by the way is a movie I HAVE NOT SEEN so I didn't know what the F that meant.  I knew I was naked and vulnerable, shaking, and scared to death. 
So, there you have it, just looked up Jack.  Sadly, I see what he means.  I know he wasn't trying to be mean.  I know he was being honest and this stuff fascinates him.  It made my eldest a little ill and sad, my youngest said "Huh.  That's kinda cool!" 
I'll post pics soon, I just have to figure out how to censor them for the internet, or if I have to do that.  Pretty sure there's nothing visible that's important but I'll do some double checking.
So, will I shower tonight?  Undecided.  I don't know if I can handle the stress.  However yesterday was a day of firsts as I slept in my own bed and not the recliner.  Jason picked me up, situated me and I slept like a baby.  I also traversed into the kitchen for the first time yesterday with my walker. 
Little by little and step by step!!

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